What the hell?
by Ominae
Summary: Two Praying Mantis PMC troopers encounter a mysterious object during a routine patrol in the war-riddled areas of northern Iraq, where they had stumbled onto the worse thing that they shouldn't have done in the first place.


Metal Gear Solid 4: What the hell?

By: Ominae

Rating: T

NOTE:

All characters of the Metal Gear series are under the copyright of Hideo Kojima and Konami. Other things not part of MGS 4 canon are under my jurisdiction.

Summary:

Two Praying Mantis PMC troopers encounter a mysterious object during a routine patrol in the war-riddled areas of northern Iraq, where they had stumbled onto the worse thing that they shouldn't have done in the first place.

Abandoned Town, somewhere in Mosul, Iraq

The deserted town was a bit too quiet for two Praying Mantis PMC troopers who had been patrolling it after the four female members of the Beauty & the Beast Corp had defeated a single rebel cell belonging to the Iraqi Liberation Front, a recently established guerrilla force made up of Iraqis coming from disgruntled Armenians, Roma, Persians, Sunnis, Kurds, Mandeans and Turkmen. The group had fought against the Shi'a-led government due to their use of PMCs as the Iraqi army had dwindled to levels not seen when the US-led coalition invaded Iraq in 2003, calling it a gross _violation _of Iraqi sovereignty. Praying Mantis forces were dispatched from Britain to aid Iraqi security forces in quelling the growing revolt on the northern parts of Iraq as it was the main location of the ILF.

"Man, this is so boring." One of the Praying Mantis PMC troopers complained, who had checked to see if his ballistic goggles and his Pro-tec helmet were still on. "I mean, Wolf and them other B&Bs did take care of that ILF cell that stormed our roadblock. I'd rather go watch some TV or maybe read the latest Playboy mag they got back in the camp."

"Doesn't hurt to be sure." said the other Praying Mantis trooper, checking a pocket on his MOLLE desert yellow vest. "We've got some unconfirmed reports that an unknown person's been aiding in and out with ILF forces."

"That so, huh?"

The two-man Praying Mantis patrol had began to approach the wrecked bulldozer and the corpses of the dead ILF rebels when one of them noticed that a box was on the sidewalk.

"Hey." The first Praying Mantis trooper patted his colleague's right shoulder. "Did you see that?" He pointed out the box to his colleague.

"Come to think of it." The second Praying Mantis trooper scratched his neck. "Where did that come from?"

"You don't suppose...that it's hiding an ILF-made weapon, don't you think?"

"Oh really? Like what, if you can tell me?"

"I don't know... Like some guy who's waiting for someone to get the box so's they can kill them or maybe the box's being used as a tool for him to sneak past us."

"Oh please. Who'd do that in this time of age anyhow? It's the age of digital technology now. Why would someone do that tactic anyway, especially when it's outdated?"

The first Praying Mantis trooper, at his own decision, approached the box and slowly removed it. The troopers had a startling discovery when they removed it.

Inside, or rater its supposed contents, were a man's corpse with its legs hugging its chest and its arms around it and its body and face were badly burned and disfigured beyond recognition. The troopers were used to seeing dead and sometimes, badly burned bodies. But what startled and disturbed them the most was that the _corpse _was now standing up and walking straight to them.

"AAAHHHHH!! M-m-monstter!" The first Praying Mantis trooper panicked and hastily dropped his FN SCAR-H assault rifle when the _corpse _tried to grab him. He squatted down and yelled while he covered his head.

"Oh my god! It's...it's a ZOMBIE!" Likewise, the other Praying Mantis trooper had also dropped his SCAR-H rifle in fear. But as he tried to draw out his SIG GSR pistol, he saw the _corpse _raise its right hand at him. At this, the trooper promptly fainted and dropped his pistol.

When the _corpse _turned its head to see the first Praying Mantis trooper, it saw that his pants had been wet at the crotch as he had _pissed his pants_ literally. The trooper slowly tried to back off while still on the ground, his hands still shaking while reaching for the left leg holster where it housed his GSR pistol.

_Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! I must have been playing too much Resident Evil to see this happening._

"S-s-stay back!" The trooper aimed the GSR at the _corpse's head_. But due to his fear of seeing a walking _dead _body slowly heading towards him, the trooper decided on the next best thing.

He fainted.

* * *

**"Hey Snake. What's going on there?" **

The _corpse _had its right index finger pressed on his left ear before the burned face and body disappeared, leaving a man wearing a black mask and sneaking suit. **"What about it, Otacon?" **Snake eyed the unconscious bodies of the Praying Mantis troopers.

**"I tried to raise on your Codec." **Otacon explained to Snake. **"All I can is some screaming and something about a monster... or something like that."**

**"Oh, that was me trying on the corpse camo. Remember that you programmed it in last night on the Octocamo?"**

**"Yeah. I just placed it there after Sunny and I programmed its camo function, but I didn't know it had a purpose. Did you use it?"**

A smirk adorned Snake's face under the Octocamo face mask. **"You can say that I raised some hell." **He could hear Otacon groan as Snake chuckled. **"I just had to try that for once..."**

**"Whatever." **Otacon replied. **"At least they didn't alert their superiors and requested for reinforcements. Anyway, you better head to Liquid's camp and stop him."**

**"Got that." **Snake ran down the road, having armed himself with a silenced Ruger Mk II pistol after loading it with a fresh 10-round .22 anesthetic magazine clip.

Along the way, Snake reverted the Octocamo to show off the corpse facemask and body camo, deciding that it had its use after all.

THE END

PS - I got inspired by the use of the Corpse camo and facemask as part of Snake's Octocamo uniform and I saw videos of the NPCs, both PMCs and guerrillas, being scared the shit outta them when they see Snake in the corpse uniform. Nothing much to say except I hope I did the humor (I guess) here. Anything that were not mentioned in MGS4 is the result of my own brainstorming, since I plan to major Political Science in university do I did some history in the past. Particularly Middle Eastern ones...

As for the place where the fic occured, I remember seeing the map used in the Act 1 briefing that impled it's near the Iraqi-Turkish borders. So I'm setting it there, though the Kojima Productions team went to Morocco for research I guess.

I did some fics prior to this after I did my multichaptered project, Overwatch on the Full Metal Panic! subcategory

Darker than BLACK - Living Doll  
Black Lagoon - Things have changed  
Metal Gear - This is good. Isn't it?

I hope you guys check these out and review them as well. As usual, I accept praises or flames, espeically if they'd help me improve on my storytelling. Flames that go after me or the story can be used for my house's fireplace when Fall comes.

You know, I'd like to try my luck on a Snake/Naomi based on MGS1.


End file.
